I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
