There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
