so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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