his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
