Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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