Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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