On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
