I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
third nipple confirmed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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