I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
