and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize