hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Holy sore nipples Batman
my liver is dry heaving
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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