Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
