im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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