I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
