One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
