Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
