My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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