Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
