She's like a pop up book from hell.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
