Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
