he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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