Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
