I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
