Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
