please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
