he wants to bone in the snuggie
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
this hospital has no fireball
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
