I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
