He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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