I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
