so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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