Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
please come you make the beer taste better
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
