There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
