just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
