You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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