How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
