Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just want nice things and good sex
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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