On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
