She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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