Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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