I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
