I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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