Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
