in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
