Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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