Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
