Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
whose parrot is this?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize