He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
