I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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