I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
