You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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