We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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