I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
