Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize