She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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