lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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