Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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