True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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