It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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