i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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