it wasn't lemon gatorade
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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