There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
