Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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