I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
