My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
