Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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