white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it glows. i had to have it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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