well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
