She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it's like iHOP with fire
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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