i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
