I'm jealous of your bromance
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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