found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
3pm strippers are depressing
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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