I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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