Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
