I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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