I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize