My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize