Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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