she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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