we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize